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Johny Johny Yes Papa/Billion Surprise Toys
(After the intro, we cut to the G-man at his desk in his room) G-man: Hello, everyone! I am the G-man, and- (He gets angry) I’m not doing it! You’ve seen the previous episode, you’ve seen (He points upwards) the title, so you know what we’re getting into. Did you seriously click on this because you wanted to see my take on Johny Johny Yes Papa? (The camera makes a motion likes its nodding. The G-man sighs in defeat) Well, I guess we’re doing this… But first, a little background: (Cut to a montage of videos belonging to the Billion Surprise Toys YouTube channel) G-man (V.O): Apparently, Johny Johny Yes Papa is some kind of nursery rhyme that existed way before YouTube was a thing. Why and how it gained popularity recently, I have no idea. There are many videos and channels on YouTube dedicated to the nursery rhyme, and the most famous called (Cut to the channel belonging to…) Billion Surprise Toys. Which sounds like every kid’s dream come true. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: But it can’t be THAT bad, right? I mean, how sleezy can they get? (Cut to the now-removed Johny Johny/Baby Shark video) Papa (Singing): Du du du du du du du Johny. Du du du du du du du Johny. Du du du du du du du- Johny (Singing): Yes, Papa? (Cut back to the G-man with his face in his hands) G-man: Oh, god! It’s worse than I thought! (He uncovers his face and sighs) Here it goes… (Suddenly, Pinkie Pie pops her head in from the left side of the screen. Startling the G-man) Pinkie: Ready? G-man: I guess… (He addresses the camera) What? Did you really think I was gonna go through this alone? (Cut back to the video) G-man (V.O): Actually, due to the obvious rip-off of Baby Shark, this video was actually taken down, but you can still find it with a quick Google search. And not only that, but the dances the father does are also copywritten. There’s Gangnam Style, the Bob and Weave, and… All the Single Ladies? Pinkie (V.O): Well, technically, it’s All the Single Johnies. G-man (V.O): Point taken. (Cut to the Billion Surprise Toys YouTube channel) And the channel it originated from is still posting videos for kids, just not filled with as much copywrite. And we’re going to go through this channel. (Cut back to the duo) G-man (Whispering): Pray for us… (Cut back to the channel) Pinkie (V.O): Another video that was deleted was another Johny Johny Yes Papa video, but instead, it stars this creepy refrigerator that belongs in somepony’s nightmares! Papa (Singing): Refrigerator, Refrigerator. Refrigerator (Singing): Yes, Papa? Papa (Singing): Do you have water? Refrigerator (Singing): No, Papa. Papa (Singing): Telling lies? Refrigerator (Singing): No, Papa. Papa (Singing): Open your door. Refrigerator (Singing): Ha ha ha! (Cut back to the duo) G-man (Out loud): Repeat that formula over and over again, and you’ve got a YouTube video… (Along with Pinkie) For kids! (Solo) Thankfully, it’s not all Johny Johny Yes Papa related. There’s a Humpy Dumpty nursery rhyme video with (Cut to a still-frame of Humpy Dumpty) this creepy-looking egg-man. Background Singer (V.O singing): Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. (The two kids turn around and gasp. The sound of a young girl going “Oh no!” is heard after the gasp. Cut back to the duo cracking up) Pinkie: Is that seriously the sound effect they chose? G-man: The better question is; is this how people react to eggs falling off of walls in this universe? Or is it just common knowledge to go "Oh no!" whenever something bad happens? (Cut to a clip from Troll 2) Man: They’re eating her! And then they’re going to eat me! Audio from video (V.O): Oh no! (Cut back to the video) Background Singer (V.O singing): All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again. Couldn’t put Humpty together again. G-man (V.O as Johny): Well, if we tie his bow-tie around the wound, that’ll hold his head in place! (Cut back to the duo) G-man (In normal voice): Because logic doesn’t exist in this universe, either! (Cut back to the video. The parents help Humpty back onto the wall, but the father is replaced by a different character) G-man (V.O): Who the fuck is that? That’s not Papa! Did they get a divorce and the mom rebounded? Well, maybe he’ll be better. (Humpty falls off and shatters again. The sound of a woman going “Oh my God!” is heard before a stinger sound effect plays over the father putting his hands on his head in shock. Cut back to the duo facepalming/hoofing) G-man: Even the sound effects aren’t funny when he’s around! Pinkie: Well, let’s watch a different video. G-man: Good idea. (Cut to the Vegetable Song video) Background Singers (V.O singing to the tune of Five Little Monkeys): Five little babies playing with toys, Mommy called them for eating broccoli. No, no, no, no. the reply was a no. Mommy called the doctor and the doctor said: Doctor (Played by the original Papa, singing): Eating broccolis are good for bone health! (Cut back to the duo with their mouths gaping) Duo (Simultaneously): He’s the doctor?! (Cut back to the video) G-man (V.O): I can’t get over this! He’s been demoted to some random character! Pinkie (V.O): And he can’t see his children unless they’re sick or… Won’t eat their broccoli? What’s going on?! G-man (V.O): I mean, he’s back as the father in later videos, but that doesn’t mean some kid who’s a fan of this channel is going to ask his or her parents why Papa’s different! (He sighs) Let’s move on (Cut to the Darling Darling video) and give Papa a taste of his own medicine in this next video. Mother (Singing): Darling, Darling? Papa (Singing): Yes, Sweety? Mother (Singing): Eating pizza? Papa (Singing): No, Sweety. Mother (Singing): Telling lies? Papa (Singing): No, Sweety. Mother (Singing): Open your mouth. Papa (Singing): Ha ha ha! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: And in the same video, the mother gets the same treatment! (Cut back to the video) Papa (Singing): Sweety. Sweety? Mother (Singing): Yes, Darling? Papa (Singing): Eating cupcake? Mother (Singing): No, Darling. Papa (Singing): Telling lies? Mother (Singing): No, Darling. Papa (Singing): Open your mouth. Mother (Singing): Ha ha ha! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: And this video just repeats for each family member! Does this channel have a fetish of repeating the same lyrics over and over? But you know what the weirdest thing is? Pinkie: What? (Cut to…) G-man (V.O): This channel has an official website! (The "Dun, dun, dun!" music plays before we cut back to the duo) G-man: I’m serious! They link their official-fucking-website on their channel’s banner! Who has the budget for this?! Pinkie: Apparently, Billion Surprise Toys. (Cut to the Grandpa Grandpa video) G-man (V.O): This next video involves the grandparents where, uh-oh! Grandpa’s eating sweets again! Johny (Singing): Grandpa, Grandpa? Grandpa (Singing): Yes, Johny? Papa (Singing): Eating sweets? Grandpa (Singing): No, baby. (The text "Why is he calling him baby?" pops up for a brief moment) Johny (Singing): Telling lies? Grandpa (Singing): No, Johny. Papa and Johny (Singing): Open your mouth. Grandpa (Singing): Ha ha ha! (Cut to later in the video. Grandpa and Johny’s supposed brother, Chiya, find Grandma eating ice cream) Chiya (Singing): Grandma, Grandma? Grandma (Singing): Yes, Chiya? Grandpa (Singing): Eating ice cream? Grandma (Singing): No, Honey. Chiya (Singing): Telling lies? Grandma (Singing): No, Chiya. Grandpa and Chiya (Singing): Open your mouth. Grandma (Singing): Ha ha ha! (Cut back to the duo) G-man: Damn! The whole family’s calling Grandma out! (Cut to the Ice Cream video) Pinkie (V.O): But the video we want to mainly focus on is this one where they sing about ice cream. G-man (V.O): And before we go much further, in the intro to each of BST’s videos, there’s two babies, and a weird anthropomorphic ice cream cone with a face. In this video, it stars… Him? Her? Hell, I don’t know what the damn gender is! They call him an "Ice Cream Man", but I swear it sounds like a woman singing the song. Ice Cream (Singing): Ice cream, ice cream. So many types of ice cream. (Cut back to the duo) Pinkie: Wait, so this living, talking ice cream cone is selling ice cream? G-man: Yeah, I call shenanigans. (Cut to a clip from Super Troopers) Man: I swear to god, I’ll pistol whip the next guy that says "Shenanigans"! (Cut back to the video) Ice Cream (Singing): Ice cream, ice cream. So many types of ice cream. Ball ice cream! Cup ice cream! Cone ice cream! Bar ice cream! Ice cream! (Four children run towards the camera. One of them being faster than the others. Cut back to the duo) G-man: Whoa, that kid wants ice cream! He’s like: (The scene plays again, only the camera is fixated on the fastest child) G-man (V.O as the child): Yes! Ice cream! I need that shit like crack, man! (Cut back to the video with the original audio) Ice cream (Singing): Ice cream, ice cream. So may flavors of ice cream. Whitish vanilla! Greenish pista! Pinkish strawberry! Brownish chocolate! Ice Cream! (Cut back to the duo) Pinkie: Wait, what did he say? (The scene plays again) Ice cream (Singing): Greenish pista! (Cut back to the duo) G-man (In normal voice): What the hell is greenish pista? Are they trying to say pistachio? (Cut back to the video) G-man (V.O): The video keeps getting weirder and weirder as alive versions of different types of ice cream appear, but there’s this one part that really rubs me the wrong way. (An anthropomorphic gorilla in clothes appears) There! Right there! What the hell is this Donkey Kong rip-off doing here?! One second, I’m gonna do some research… (Cut to a time card that says "One Google search later", and then back to the duo) G-man: Wow, its like these idiots are trying to find me… Pinkie: What’d you find? G-man: Apparently, that gorilla has a damn name, and its been popping up in these videos quite a lot! (Cut back to the video) G-man (V.O): Now, you’re probably thinking its name is Greg, or maybe Chad, right? No, it’s Franko. Pinkie (V.O): Franko? (She laughs a bit) That’s silly! G-man (V.O): Oh, you’re laughing now, but wait until you see his grandfather: (Cut to the infamous "OK SO BASICALLY I’M MONKY" meme) See? (Cut back to the duo) G-man: And that was all the Billion Surprise Toys we could go through without punching a hole in my computer. Pinkie: Aww! Just one more video? G-man (Sighing): Fine… Pinkie: Goody! (Cut to the poorly-animated Johny Johny Yes Papa video by EdukayFUN) Papa: Johny, Johny? Johny: Yes, Papa? Papa: Eating sugar? Johny: No, Papa. Papa: Telling lies? Johny: No, Papa. Papa: Open your mouth. Johny: Ha ha ha! (Johny literally swallows the jar of sugar. Cut back to the duo where the G-man’s mouth is gaping) G-man: Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good… (The G-man disappears in a puff of smoke. Cut to a montage of Johny Johny Yes Papa videos) G-man (V.O): Yeah, I’ve had enough of Johny for one day! So, this is where we’re ending it. I have zero clue as to why this meme is gaining so much popularity. It might be from Billion Surprise Toys, but that’s just my guess. And as for Billion Surprise Toys, I don’t understand why it was even made, let alone its website! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Well, thanks for helping me through this, Pinkie Pie! Pinkie: Hey, anytime, G-man! G-man: Well, I am the G-man… Pinkie: And I’m Pinkie Pie! (Along with the G-man) And that’s all you need to know about that! (Suddenly, the G-man gets up and runs out of his room) Pinkie (Solo): Where are you going? G-man (Solo from outside his door): To donate what’s left my brain to science! Category:Episode